The captain is threatened with death and the manager warns of a bloodbath - yes, England are playing away from home.
The fallout from the win in Macedonia and the anticipation of a fiery trip to Turkey have the tabloids beside themselves.
The Daily Star reports that "bad boy" Artim Sakiri admits he did make death threats to David Beckham during Saturday's match, but says it happens all the time in Macedonia.
And he ensures an interesting reception when he next takes the field for West Brom by adding that England will lose 5-0 in Turkey.
The Sun does its bit by describing Sakiri as, quite simply, "Psycho".
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THE HEADLINES
Daily Telegraph: Fiery Flintoff sets England on road to sharing series
The Times: Flintoff's fireworks ignite England
The Sun: Psycho - Sakiri tells Becks: 'You'll die'
Daily Express: Sven fears bloodbath
Daily Mirror: Becks fan rap
Daily Mail: You could be killed - Sven's shock warning
Daily Star: Flag yobs fired us up, says David Beckham
The Guardian: Flintoff forces grand finale
The Independent: England players face FA warning
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A heavy defeat on the field in Istanbul is the least of England's worries, according to the Daily Express, which claims "Sven fears bloodbath".
The mild-mannered Swede warns fans not to travel because "you can risk your life", although the word "bloodbath" is strangely absent from his actual comments.
Happier news coms from The Oval, where England's cricketers stand on the brink of a remarkable win over South Africa that would unexpectedly level the series.
And it is Andrew Flintoff who gets the plaudits following his stunning knock of 95 in the second innnings.
"Flintoff sets up Test miracle" cries the Daily Mail, while The Guardian says "Flintoff's blitzkrieg sent the 18,000 crowd to near hysteria".
And the same paper suggests Flintoff has put in stellar performances with the bat "more consistently this season than Botham ever did".
The other story of sporting courage from the weekend comes from a character about as different from Flintoff as it is possible to be.
Justine Henin-Hardenne is described in The Times as a "pocket battleship" after her US Open victory over Kim Clijsters.