Mother writes book about murdered son to help others grieve

A mother whose son was stabbed to death in front of his own child at an east London barber's shop has written a book about her grief.

Josh McKay, 33, was attacked in Leyton in July 2024. His mother, Bash Kehinde, said the time since had been a "living nightmare" and the pain never went away.

She hopes the book will help other families coping with sudden loss.

"It's something that you can't shake off," she told BBC London.

"You remember what that bad thing is and it sort of hurts in your stomach. And then you think, oh, but it's going to be OK tomorrow.

"That happens every day, but it's not going to be OK tomorrow."

Bash last saw Josh alive on an ordinary Saturday.

He had been helping her get ready for a gathering with friends, carrying chairs downstairs and dropping off his washing.

Before he left for the barber's with his son, the pair joked about the price of deodorant.

"I'm a millionaire in the making," he told her. They were the last words he said to her.

Hours later she was at his side, begging him to wake up.

"Son, get up. Son, it's me. Mum's here. Get up now. It's okay."

She remembers watching the ambulance leave.

"That's my whole life has just gone in that ambulance. Not his body, but everything that is important, and my happiness."

Bash describes her son as funny and generous, someone who always wanted to help. He ran a business helping young people leaving care find work and somewhere to live.

"Other kids used to bring home cats or dogs. Josh used to bring home people," she said. "He had the biggest heart."

She wants him remembered as a father, a businessman and a much-loved part of his community, not as another knife crime statistic. The way victims of violent crime are described has added to her pain.

"Stop scrolling, stop using the term knife crime," she said. "If you got killed by a car, no-one would call it car crime, they'd say you got murdered."

"Murder happens to the victim, but it also happens to the family."

Renai Belle, a former friend of Josh, was jailed for life at the Old Bailey in July 2025 and must serve at least 28 years.

The trial brought fresh trauma, as Bash sat through graphic evidence about her son's final moments. It was then that she decided to write about what had happened.

She hopes the book will help people understand the lasting effects of sudden loss and support families who are struggling.

"Life can change in a second," she said.

Her self-published book was released on Tuesday.

Listen to the best of BBC Radio London on Sounds and follow BBC London on Facebook, X and Instagram. Send your story ideas to hello.bbclondon@bbc.co.uk