Why is there so much kissing in Spain?

In Spain, kissing in public is an everyday sight. But the country's comfort with public affection reveals a surprising history of repression and rebellion.

Kissing is everywhere in Spain. There's the double-cheek kiss when you meet someone, of course. But then there are the romantic ones. I've been stuck behind a middle-aged couple who stop to smooch on a busy high street. I've felt a pang of nostalgia seeing teens kissing in sun-soaked parks and I've squeezed past tipsy revellers canoodling while fireworks crackle at Valencia's Las Fallas festival. Even my accountant signs off her emails with "besos" (kisses).

After more than six years living in Spain, I've become used to these public displays of affection. But when a friend returned to Valencia after a trip to Japan, she noticed them immediately. Stepping out of the train station, she was greeted by a couple snogging on a bench. After her stint in a country where PDA is far less frequent, the sight filled her with relief. "I'm home," she thought.

It made me wonder: is Spain really a country of kissing? And what can these public displays of affection tell us about its culture, history and attitudes towards intimacy? 

One explanation may lie in the way Spaniards use public spaces. In many parts of the country, everyday life takes place outdoors, in busy streets, cafes and parks.

A University of Warwick study found that Spain was among the countries that required the least personal space when meeting a new acquaintance – even less than its southern Mediterranean cousins Greece, Italy and Portugal. It's a tendency that plays out in Spain's bustling plazas, where terraces are filled with friends gathered shoulder-to-shoulder, sipping cañas (beers) in the sunshine.

Amparo Lasén, professor of sociology at Complutense University of Madrid, says that people in Spain tend to be more physically demonstrative than northern Europeans. "You notice more difference if you compare with Nordic countries or with England," she said.

Perhaps it's not that Spaniards are more affectionate than people elsewhere, but that they're more comfortable showing it. Kissing in public isn't necessarily a grand romantic gesture; it's simply an accepted part of everyday life. 

Living arrangements may also play a part. Around 65% of Spain's population lives in flats – the highest proportion in the EU – while soaring property prices have made it increasingly difficult for young adults to move out of the family home.

Lasén suggests that limited privacy at home can push intimate moments into public spaces. "In Spain we have this housing crisis, meaning that we are more used to meeting our friends outside – going to bars, going to restaurants – rather than doing it at our homes," she says, adding that couples now have to seek out a secluded bench for some alone time – or nearly alone, at least.

But the housing crisis isn't the underlying reason for its public displays of affection, says Lasén. More important is the country's relaxed attitude towards them. "If no one gives you a bad look or just you don't care, well, that's the thing that makes it easier to have this kind of demonstration in public."

Isabel Nieto Tous, 28, who moved back in with her parents three years ago after living abroad, knows how awkward dating without much privacy can be. "I didn't want to tell my parents I was staying at people's houses, because it was a bit awkward, so I would say I was staying at a friend's place," she said.

Tous, who has lived in Japan, France, Germany and Tunisia, believes that dating is different in Spain; she says there's an instant warmth from the start. "People get very touchy and close very fast. Maybe you're in a situationship; you've met someone two times, and already you're holding hands in public and very touchy," she says.

"I think kissing in public is very accepted in general," she adds. "There's no differentiation between indoors and outdoors. People behave the same way in the intimate space as they do in the outside space."

While PDA may be a familiar sight in Spain today, expressions of sexuality were once tightly controlled. Under Francisco Franco’s dictatorship (1939-1975), conservative Catholic values and restrictive legislation dictated public behaviour, criminalising homosexuality and policing public displays of affection. Couples could even be fined for kissing in public. 

After Franco's death in 1975, Spain underwent a profound cultural transformation. In Madrid, the exuberant counterculture movement known as La Movida Madrileña celebrated freedom and self-expression, with film-makers such as Pedro Almodóvar challenging the conservative values of the past. As the movement flourished, affection and sexuality became increasingly visible in public life.

But the sea-change didn't happen spontaneously. LGBT activists had been protesting for decades, clearing the path for a more open and accepting society. One pivotal protest took place in Madrid on 23 February 1987. The previous year, two women had been arrested for kissing in Madrid's Puerta del Sol and held in police custody for two days under the Escándalo Público (Public Scandal) law. 

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Their detention promoted local campaign groups to organise a mass kiss-in to draw attention to the case. From that year until around the 1990s, every Pride March in Madrid finished with a kiss in Puerta del Sol. Kissing in the street had become a powerful act of peaceful protest, and the public-scandal offence was abolished in 1988.

Today, public displays of affection can be seen across Spain, but that freedom isn't experienced equally. An older couple kissing on a public bench may attract more attention, while same-sex couples can face greater scrutiny, Lasén said. "Not everyone is equally comfortable showing their relationship."

For Paula Furió, a former wedding photographer in Valencia, kissing is a symbol of something much bigger. "There's still work to do, but Spanish society in general is very open. Kissing is like the tip of the iceberg: it gives you a sense of the freedom you can have in Spain. It's an expression of freedom."

It made me think back to my friend returning from Japan and the relief she felt at seeing a couple kissing on the bench. Perhaps she wasn't just happy to be home, she was happy to be in a country where authenticity overrules good manners. Maybe the most remarkable thing about kissing in Spain is how unremarkable it's become. 

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